The Call

81) long drives, safe roads
82) family opening up home for us
83) coming together to remember
84) memories of days gone by
85) laughter of such days
86) cousins...more like sisters
87) children being so good on trip
88) Christmas gift baby, staying another night
89) Thoughts of sledding...on a real hill
90) Husband doing dishes so I could get ready

The last few days have been ones of sadness for our family. A dear Aunt of mine has suddenly passed on. This has brought lots of preparations for the coming week. We got The Call, on Sunday morning shortly before we were leaving to worship. My emotions were pretty much in check, for the better part of the morning, preparing for church, and getting ready for Sunday School. As we started to worship, the voices filled the sanctuary, and tears filled my eyes. The chords rose and fell as I let the tears roll down my cheeks. I will miss her; my dad will miss her, the one whose name he mistakenly calls me so very often. I am greeted by many, and special friends ask if I am okay. I explain with few words, mostly just eyes. They know, we hug and move on. As church draws to a close, and we go home, gentle husband of mine tucks me into bed, bringing me bread and drink. He says that I need time, time to reflect and possibly cry. It is then I get The Call, one that means so much. My Mom calls to ask how I am feeling, and tears run down. I nod head as if she can see, she asks if I am okay, I nod and utter yes, quietly, softly. So she begins to talk, knowing that I just need to hear her voice, hear her talk, to make it all okay. It is then that she says something that changes the way I am to look at things. She talks of a lady she knows who has lost a grandchild and daughter in law in last few years. This dear woman said that when she is asked how she possibly manages her grief after losing so much....she states simply that she doesn't borrow grief, she owns only HER grief. It gets too hard you see, when you take on the grief of someone else. In her case it is the grief that she knows that her son is going through, having just lost a child and wife. It gets to be too much if she takes on the grief of others. The Lord gives you the grace to handle your portion of grief. He will be with us and walk with us through our difficult moments, but when we start to focus on what we imagine someone else's grief is, it becomes too much. I later told her that what she said was profound to me....and she hardly remembered saying it. Isn't that the way life is, we never know what may speak to someone or what touches their heart.

Thank you mom, for speaking to me and taking the time to touch My heart.